Ask Nickoel... Advice Column
Ask and you shall receive an answer... can't promise you'll like it though...
Hello, my name is Nickoel Haskins. I'm from Illinois, I'm married and have four wonderful children. I've been a writer for many years and worked as an investigative reporter for one of our local newspapers for about six years. I've have more then my share of life experience already in my 36 years on this earth, and would love to share that experience with you. Life gets rough sometimes, and there are times when we feel like we just landed in a big pile of life-goo. You're not alone. Many of us have been there. I'm not a doctor, so you will understand my advice, but there is no medical degree behind it. But i can promise you one thing.. it will be honest. Sometimes it makes a difference to ask someone outside of your situation for an opinion. From me, you will get plain old fashion advice with perhaps a side of comedy sometimes.. I very strongly believe that we need to laugh at life sometimes.. it makes it less painful at times... So if you're young or aging, have a little question or a big one, I'm here waiting for you. And again, you don't know me.. so there is no way I'm going to "tell on you." Also, feel free to stop by my attached blogs.. who knows, maybe someone elses question, or experience, may be just what you needed to hear.. Thanks for stopping by..
Longtime Waiting
Nickoel, I am a single woman in my thirties. I have always wanted to have children, but I have never found "the one". I have given up on finding a mate, but I would still love to have children. I have thought about adoption, however I really want to experience the entire pregnancy process. I have thought more about going through a sperm bank. When I was younger I never thought it would be fair to a child to be raised by an older parent, let alone have some annonomys man be half of thier genetic make-up. Now that I am older I am seriously considering the very thing I always thought would be so unfair. Am I being to selfish to put children through such obsticles? Should I give up the idea of ever being a mother or should I proceed with the new plan to have children?
- Sincerely, Longtime Waiting
Dear Longtime Waiting,
Having a baby is a wonderful experience that can be a great blessing if the timing is right for you. We do live in an age where it is nearly the norm for children to be raised by single parents, but i have to say that from my own experience it is a very difficult journey. And the desire to carry a child in your womb is something I too have experienced in my years, but I also know that the birth of a child does not necessary a mother make. It is the heart of a women that loves her child, not her womb.
My advice to you is hold true to your beliefs. If it is important to you to have a child and raise that child in a two parent household, then that is what you should do. If you are unable to carry a child when that time comes there are other options. You mention adoption, but there is also surrogate mothers as well. This may not be exactly the answer you were looking for but I feel that it is the answer you need. In the end you have to follow your heart and stick with your beliefs.
- Nickoel
- Sincerely, Longtime Waiting
Dear Longtime Waiting,
Having a baby is a wonderful experience that can be a great blessing if the timing is right for you. We do live in an age where it is nearly the norm for children to be raised by single parents, but i have to say that from my own experience it is a very difficult journey. And the desire to carry a child in your womb is something I too have experienced in my years, but I also know that the birth of a child does not necessary a mother make. It is the heart of a women that loves her child, not her womb.
My advice to you is hold true to your beliefs. If it is important to you to have a child and raise that child in a two parent household, then that is what you should do. If you are unable to carry a child when that time comes there are other options. You mention adoption, but there is also surrogate mothers as well. This may not be exactly the answer you were looking for but I feel that it is the answer you need. In the end you have to follow your heart and stick with your beliefs.
- Nickoel
